


if risk leads to ruin, my heart would forgive me

by kegofglory



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 08:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18634414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kegofglory/pseuds/kegofglory
Summary: "He tells her all about what made him open a dog shelter, and how much he loves his job. She admires his passion, and finds that she could listen to his voice for the rest of her life if he’d let her."OR, a story in which Emma and Killian become friends because their dogs become friends.





	if risk leads to ruin, my heart would forgive me

**Author's Note:**

> Here's ANOTHER Captain Swan one-shot that turned into much more than I intended and is far too long. 
> 
> Also, it's a strange coincidence that my second CS fic is _also_ inspired by a song that's about the sea. The title comes from the song "Sea Legs" by The Ballroom Thieves, which I highly recommend.

Emma never really considered herself an animal person. Probably because she never had a pet growing up, moving from foster homes to group homes, half her time spent wondering where she’d be living the next day. Pets are something she associates more with family, with a real home, something she was never privy to.  


Then one day, Henry came home from school with a golden retriever at his side. She called local animal shelters, posted pictures of him online, did everything she could to find the poor guys home.

   
And nothing came of it.

   
She and Henry got a little attached, so they named him Duck (courtesy of Henry, who thought  _Duck Swan_ was a hilarious name) and he became a permanent fixture of their little family.

   
She takes Duck on a walk on the first nice day in April, and she revels in the feel of the sun on her skin after months of bundling up for freezing weather. She’s even humming quietly, a sense of peace coursing through her.

   
That is, until Duck lunges playfully at an unsuspecting Australian Shepherd dog. Emma’s eyes widen. “Shit,” she mutters, pulling on Duck’s leash. “Duck!”

   
There’s laughter beside her and she turns to see a man running toward his dog, Duck’s new pal, and he grabs his leash. There’s commotion as she and the stranger both shout at their own dogs, trying to tug them apart.

   
Emma laughs, though, when her dog lays in the grass, panting happily as the other dog nudges at him playfully.  
  


She glances over at the stranger, and curses herself for almost immediately noticing that,  _god, he’s attractive._ Like, unreal attractive, actually.  
  


“It seems my Davy has taken quite a liking to your pup, love,” he says, and she laughs, raising an eyebrow at his lilting accent.  
  


She shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s easy to do,” she says smugly, as if she were personally responsible for her dog’s adorable factor.  
  


He grins at this, eyeing her carefully, and Emma does not miss the way his eyes slowly travel from her head to her toe. She shoots him a look, and he has the decency to look embarrassed.  
 

“Killian Jones,” he says, extending his free hand as the dogs continue to roll around together.  
  


She looks at his hand, then meets his eyes again, chuckling. “You named your dog Davy Jones?” she asks. “Like… the pirate?”  
  


He chuckles, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.. “Of course I did. And you are?”  
  


She extends her hand, shaking his easily. “Emma Swan.”  
  


He nods at their dogs. “And this is…?”  
  


She rolls her eyes. “That’s Duck.”  
 

It takes him a minute, but a smile slowly takes over his whole face, and it’s almost blinding. Emma looks away, glances down at the dogs again, because she can’t quite meet his eyes when he’s smiling like that.  
 

“Duck Swan?” he says finally, laughter in his tone.

   
She shrugs. “My son named him,” she says, and waits for him to flinch, to wince, to anything, at the mention of her son. He only beams at her. She doesn’t know which scenario is worse.  
  


“He’s a smart lad,” he says, and she glances over at the dogs, keeping her focus on anything other than his kind eyes. It’s too disarming.  
  


“Yes, I suppose,” she agrees, and sighs. “Speaking of, I have to pick him up from school, so, I guess I have to break up this play date,” she says, tugging lightly on the leash.

   
He shuffles a little closer to her, tugging on his own leash. “It was lovely to meet you, Emma,” he says quietly, and she smiles tightly up at him, nodding kindly before getting a hold of Duck and heading back to her car.

 

\---///---

 

On Saturday, Henry wakes up well before eight in the morning, shaking his mother awake gently.  
  


Emma squints one eye open, staring at her nine-year-old son. “Are you okay?” she asks sleepily.

   
He nods. “It’s really nice out,” he tells her.  
  


She turns around, glancing up at her clock. Then she groans, stretching her legs out, before returning her attention to her son. “Yes?”

   
He grins. “Well, Duck really wants to go to the park,” he says innocently, but she gives him a look and his cheeks turn pink. “So do I.”

   
Emma hums. “Give me time to wake up, kid, and then we will go.”

   
He practically rushes back out of her room, and Emma laughs lightly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

   
It takes her less than a half hour to drag herself out of bed, shower, and get herself somewhat presentable. Or at least, presentable enough for a walk through the park on a Saturday in Boston.

   
Henry’s going on and on about a story he has to work on for English class, and she does her best to keep up with his spiraling thoughts. He’s going on about recreating fairy tales, and she just takes the time to admire his passion and excitement. These qualities, she is sure, he inherited from his father. And seeing them in her son, the person she loves more than anyone on this planet, well, it makes her anger towards Neal fade quite a bit.

   
“Mom,” he says, cutting off his own thought. She glances down at her son, and he points to the guy sitting at the bench a few feet from them, who is smiling openly at her.

   
And, of course, it’s Killian. And Davy.  
  


_Oh,_ and a beautiful brunette.

   
Emma feels a pang in her chest that she doesn’t even really understand. She moves to head down a different path, one that doesn’t take them right past the bench, but Duck starts barking wildly, running straight to Davy. Henry, who has a tight hold on the leash, gets pulled violently to the bench.

   
Holding in her groan, she slowly walks toward the couple and their dog.

  
“Swan!” Killian calls, standing up and watching adoringly as the dogs tangle together.

   
Emma has to admit, looking at the dogs, that they are pretty adorable together. She lets a small laugh escape, shaking her head. “Wow, they love each other,” Emma observes.

   
“They’re best mates, of course,” Killian agrees, and then motions to the woman that is still sitting on the bench, watching the scene before her with interest. “This is my girlfriend, Milah,” he says.

   
She’s older, Emma thinks. Maybe ten years older than him. But she’s breathtakingly beautiful.

   
“Milah, this is Emma Swan. I met her here the other day when our dogs tackled each other,” he says, and Milah stays seated but smiles just the same.

 

Henry’s giggling at the way that the dogs are playing together, and Emma points in his direction. “This is my son, Henry,” she says, and Henry spares them a smile before joining the dogs in the grass, laughing as he rolls around with them. Emma can’t help it, she pulls out her phone and snaps a picture.

   
Emma tries not to look over at Milah again. Really, she does. But she seemingly has lost physical control of her body because she turns back and looks at Milah, who is watching her too. Her eyes are distant, her face guarded, so different from the openness and trust that Killian seems to wear on his face at all times.  
  


She awkwardly smiles, and turns to see Killian watching the exchange thoughtfully.  
 

“Lad,” Killian calls out to her son. “I heard you came up with the name Duck?” he asks.  
 

Henry stands up, brushing the grass off his body, and nods, his face full of pride. “Yeah!”  
 

“Brilliant,” Killian shouts, and Henry smiles wider, if that’s even possible. “This is Davy Jones. He has taken quite fondly to you it seems,” he says, crouching down so he’s at Henry’s height.  
 

“Davy Jones,” Henry repeats, then chuckles, looking over at his mom with glee. “That’s awesome!” he shouts.

   
Even Milah laughs at this, the joy on Henry’s face too pure to deny.

   
“Thank you,” Killian says, shooting an  _I-Told-You-So_ look at Emma, who only rolls her eyes. “I thought it was quite clever as well.”

   
Emma rocks back on her heels, and she looks down at her watch. “Henry, why don’t you start trying to reign Duck in, okay? It’s about time for breakfast,” she calls.

   
Killian frowns slightly at her, but she pretends not to notice.

   
She also pretends not to notice the way his jeans look like they were tailored just for him, or how he somehow makes a plain black tee look like vogue, or how his crooked smile sends a shiver down her spine.

   
“It was nice meeting you, Emma,” Milah says, standing up to join Killian. Emma nods, then gives Killian a wave before practically dragging Henry and Duck down a different path.

   
“Killian is nice,” Henry says, his voice full of innocent kindness.

   
“Yeah, he is,” she agrees, shrugging as she ruffles Henry’s hair. “Now, Granny’s?” she asks.

   
All it takes is the thought of blueberry pancakes for Henry to forget the exchange completely.

 

\---///---

 

Henry doesn’t forget for long enough, though, because he brings Killian and Davy up at Granny’s.

   
“Mom’s friend was there, and his dog was so awesome!” he’s saying around a mouthful of bacon. Emma grimaces, shaking her head at her son.  
 

“Chew, swallow,  _then_ talk, kid,” she admonishes, and he smiles sheepishly at her.  
 

“Yeah, alright, who’s mom’s friend?” Ruby cuts in, reaching over to take a piece of sausage off of Emma’s plate.  
 

David grunts, looking all sorts of uncomfortable, and Mary Margaret giggles lightly.  
 

The four (five when Henry comes along) of them try to meet for breakfast every weekend, and this weekend is no different. Ruby’s in the clothes she wore out the night before, while David and Mary Margaret look perfect and put together as always.  
 

“Killian,” Henry supplies, as if they’ve all known Killian for years and just forgot.  
 

Ruby raises an eyebrow, and when she reaches over to steal more food, Emma smacks at her hand. “Order your own sausage, Rubes!”  
 

“Killian… weird name,” she comments. “Who is he?” she asks, completely disregarding Emma’s outburst and stealing a piece of bacon from David’s plate instead, who only scowls as he glances over at Ruby’s untouched bowl of fruit.  
 

“I don’t know, some guy at the park,” Emma answers. “I’ve only met him one other time. Duck loves his dog.”  
 

“Is he cute?”  
 

Emma levels Ruby with a hard stare. “He’s not ugly.”  
 

“Ooh, intrigue,” Ruby practically croons, and Henry’s face scrunches together with confusion. Emma glares at Ruby, who just shrugs.  
 

“Ruby, didn’t you hear her? He’s a stranger from the park,” David cuts in, and Emma smiles at David, who has once again, for the thousandth time in their lives, saved her.  
 

“Everyone is a stranger before they meet. They’ve met. They are no longer strangers.”  
 

“Either way,” Emma says sternly before the conversation can spiral even more. “He was there with his very lovely girlfriend, so let’s all change the topic.”  
 

Mary Margaret starts talking about their road trip plans a few months away, and Emma fights the urge to let out a sigh of relief at the change of conversation.  
  


Emma tunes the conversation out, though, when she notices Henry staring across the room and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Emma follows his line of sight. A young girl, about his age, was seated in a booth with a grown man, likely her father.  
 

“Who’s that?” Emma whispers, trying not to grab anyone else’s attention.  
 

Henry’s cheeks redden in record time, and he shrugs, looking back down at his plate. “A girl from school,” he answers, and Emma laughs, leaning forward to place a kiss on her son’s head before returning to conversation with her friends.

 

\---///---

 

The next time Emma sees Killian, it’s after a long overnight shift. She gets home at six in the morning, just in time to get Henry up and ready for school. After he gets on the bus, though, she tosses and turns in her bed for an hour before she gives up on getting sleep. She brews a pot of coffee and looks over at Duck, who’s laying on the couch, eyeing her intensely. She smiles, looking out her kitchen window outside. The sun is shining brightly through minimal clouds.  
  


She jumps in the shower, gets ready, and pours coffee into her large insulated coffee cup before taking Duck to the park.  
 

Emma usually rotates between a few different parks and trails to keep her walks with Duck interesting.  
 

She doesn’t admit, not even to herself, that she keeps returning to Peter’s Park because that’s where she met Killian. She also doesn’t admit that she spent a little more time getting ready for an early morning walk than she normally does,  _just in case.  
_ 

And it’s stupid, she knows, this weird flicker of hope she feels whenever her eyes meet his. He has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that is beautiful, and obviously very kind.  
 

She’s not trying to get in the middle of that, she really isn’t. She just thinks that, you know, maybe she and Killian can be friends.  
 

When she sees him, he’s laying on a blanket, Davy laying down next to him, his head resting on Killian’s stomach. Emma’s heart swells, and she forces  _that_ feeling down when she approaches him, Duck barking excitedly at Davy.  
 

At the sound of Duck’s barking, Killian sits up and beams when he sees Emma nearing him. She waves easily, dropping the leash and grinning as Davy and Duck wrestle on the blanket, forcing Killian to stand up.  
 

“Swan, you’re frequenting this park as much as me now!” he says, and there is nothing in his tone that would imply that he thinks it has anything to do with him, but she blushes anyways.  
 

And she curses herself for it.  
 

If he notices her reaction, he pretends not to because he just smiles widely at her, sitting back down on the grass, gesturing dramatically to the spot beside him.

   
She raises an eyebrow but sits down across from him, crossing her legs pretzel style.

   
“What brings you out on this fine Tuesday morning, Swan?”

   
He sits back, placing his hands in the grass behind him to support himself.

   
She shrugs, her eyes on the dogs as she responds. “I had to work night shift last night and I couldn’t fall asleep when I got home,” she tells him.

   
“Really? When’s the last time you slept?” he asks, concern in his tone.

   
She looks back at him, and his eyes are so curious. “I napped before work yesterday, so I’m fine,” she says, although the yawn that interrupts her sentence doesn’t quite sell the sentiment.

   
He laughs, shaking his head. “What do you do for a living?”

   
She watches as he leans forward, mimicking the way she’s seated, as his fingers pick at blades of grass.

   
“I’m a detective,” she says casually, waiting for the typical reaction she gets from men about her career choice--something between intimidation and distaste.

   
He only raises an eyebrow, though, and she pretends that doesn’t mean anything to her.

   
“Officer of the law? Wow. I could have guessed that,” he says, and she laughs genuinely at this, shaking her head.

   
“How so?”

   
He just gives her a half shrug. “You’re something of an open book,” he tells her, and the statement makes her heart race for some reason.

   
“What about you? Where do you work that you’re able to hang out at the park on a Tuesday morning?” she asks, desperately feeling the need to turn the interrogation around on him.

   
He smirks, and she feels like he’s looking right through her. “You ever been to Sea Dog’s Animal Rescue on Beacon Street?” he asks.

   
He looks surprised when his simple question elicits a laugh from her. “I had the weirdest experience there once, actually,” she says. “Do you work there?”

   
“I own it, actually. What kind of weird experience?” he asks, sounding offended.

   
She shakes her head. “When I found Duck, he had no collar, and I was trying to connect him to his possible owners. I walked into your shelter and talked to this guy… ahh,” she groans, trying to remember his name. “I don’t remember his name, actually, but I think he hit on me. And he kept calling me sheriff when I told him I was a cop.”

   
Killian groans. “I’d bet money that was Scarlet,” he says, rubbing a hand over his face. “He’s exhausting.”

   
She sighs, wondering when she got so good at making new friends. “How’d you meet Milah?” she asks, the question slipping from her mouth before she can stop it.

   
His smile fades into a look of intrigue, his eyes searching her face with profound sincerity. “It was complicated,” he finally says, his voice taking on a grave tone. “I met her through a friend of a friend. And she was married when I met her.”

   
He leans over, running his hand lovingly over Davy’s head, who is now laying down next to Duck, both exhausted from their own festivities.

   
“She was married to a real piece of work. He was terrible to her. And we remained friends until one day, she left him. She ran, actually. And she showed up at my doorstep, needing a place to stay. And the rest is history, I suppose,” he says, but there’s something under his tone that she can’t quite read.

   
“She seems great,” Emma says, her voice too bright to her own ears.

   
He nods in agreement, even though his eyes are distant. “She’s a force to be reckoned with.”

   
She smiles and lays down, looking up at him when she starts telling him about how Duck became a part of her family.

   
His eyes are kind and encouraging when she tells him about her life in the foster system, and she surprises herself when she tells him about David Nolan, who she met freshman year at Boston University. She tells him about how David made her feel important for the first time in her life, bringing her home to his mom’s on holidays, showing her what it’s like to be a part of a real family.

   
In turn, he tells her about his brother Liam, who lives in New York with his wife, and how he didn’t have much of a family unit outside of his brother either. He tells her all about what made him open a dog shelter, and how much he loves his job. She admires his passion, and finds that she could listen to his voice for the rest of her life if he’d let her.

   
As soon as that thought crosses her mind though, she sits up abruptly. “I better get home,” she says, looking at her watch. It’s already nearing eleven, meaning she’s been sitting in the grass with Killian for almost three hours. “I need to get some sleep before Henry gets home.”

   
She can feel his eyes watching her closely as she grabs her now empty coffee cup, gathering Duck’s leash in her other hand.

   
“See you around, Jones?”

   
She means for it to come out as a casual statement, but it sounds more like a nervous question. She stands up, shuffling a little awkwardly on her feet under the heat of his stare. Then he stands up, nodding. “Maybe we can have some dog play dates. Davy enjoys hanging out with Duck a lot, it seems,” he says, and she wonders if he’s really talking about Davy.

   
He scratches behind his ear nervously, and Emma finds the nervous tick to be incredibly endearing. “Can I have your number, Swan? It might be easier to coordinate walks in the park if I could contact you.”

   
She nods in affirmation, too afraid to speak as she takes his phone from him, quickly entering in her number.

   
He takes his phone from her and shoves it in his pocket, settling back into the grass and she and Duck head the opposite direction.

 

\---///---

 

After that, she and Killian become friends. Or, friend-adjacent. They become park buddies, if anything.

   
It’s not weird.

   
At least, that what she’s telling Ruby one night at their favorite dive bar.

   
Ruby, however, isn’t convinced. She grabs Emma’s phone and opens up her text conversation with Killian.

  
“Emma Swan,” Ruby shouts, eyes widening as she looks at the texts.

   
Too exhausted to wrestle her phone back from her best friend, she simply takes another drink of her rum and diet.

   
“There’s nothing in those texts that warrants the scandalized face you’re pulling right now, Ruby, so cut the crap,” she says tersely.  
 

Ruby chuckles. “It’s not what the messages say, it’s what’s behind those words,” she says cryptically before downing the rest of her tequila sunrise.

   
“Behind… the words?” Emma repeats slowly, staring at Ruby like she’s lost her mind. Which, perhaps, she has.

   
“You like him, Em. Why else would you be hanging out with him?”

   
“I can’t make new friends?” Emma asks, signaling to Mulan that they’re ready for another round of drinks. “We literally hang out like once a week, and all we do is walk our dogs. It’s not romantic, it’s not weird.”

   
“You can make new friends. But you’re like… keeping him secret. Why haven’t you brought him around, if you’re just friends? Unless… you’re afraid that we’ll all see how hopelessly in love you are if you bring him to one of our nights out.”

   
“This theory you’re working on?” Emma starts, turning to smile gratefully at their bartender when a new drink appears in front of her. “It’s heavily flawed. I don’t bring him out because there is no reason to… he’s busy. I have you guys. He’s just, like, my park friend.”

   
“You sound insane,” Ruby decides, setting Emma’s phone back on the bar counter. “But I’ll let it go. For now.”

   
“We can talk about why we’re really here,” Emma suggests, grinning wickedly.

   
Ruby furrows her brow in confusion. “We’re here because it’s a Saturday night and your son is at his father's house.”

   
“Weird how when Mary Margaret invited us over for a cookout you shot her down in seconds, swearing you had to hit up happy hour.”

   
Ruby scoffs. “I had a long day. Sue me for wanting a drink!” she shouts indignantly.

   
“Uh huh, and you couldn’t bring drinks to Mary Margaret’s?” she asks.

   
“What’s your point?” Ruby asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

   
Emma just turns, making a show of looking over at Mulan, the bartender that Ruby has had a crush on for over a year now.

  
Ruby chokes out a forced laugh. “That? I’ve been over that for forever, Em,” she argues, but Emma can hear the lie in her voice.

   
“You sound insane, but I’ll let it go for now,” Emma says, repeating Ruby’s words back to her. Ruby doesn’t mention Killian again after that.

 ---///---

 

Emma’s halfway out the door on Thursday evening when she decides to text Killian.  
 

 _Headed to the park now. You up for a walk?  
_ 

**Are you dead set on the park?**

   
She stares at the text, wondering what he means as she gets into her yellow bug, laughing when Duck immediately shoves his head out the window.

   
_That’s normally where I do my dog walking, yes._

   
**Fancy meeting us at The Jolly Roger?**

   
_That weird nautical themed bar by the docks?_

   
She stares at the little animated dots that appear on the screen, heart pounding.

   
**You wound me. This is my favorite bar in Boston. And it’s dog friendly.  
** 

Emma stares at Duck, who’s panting happily, and sighs, debating her options.

   
When she pulls up to The Jolly Roger, she has two realizations that stop her in her tracks. Duck sits patiently on the pavement, watching while his owner has a mental breakdown right in front of him.  
 

  1. Milah might be here.
  2. This is the first time they’re hanging out somewhere other than the park.



   
Duck moves closer to her legs, licking at her jeans, and Emma sighs. “Fine,” she mumbles to her dog. “Let’s go.”

   
When she enters the bar, she finds it’s open and filled with natural lights from the tall windows everywhere. She looks around, and smiles when she sees Killian sitting at a round table, Davy laying on the floor under his chair. She raises an eyebrow to see that he’s not alone though. He’s actually surrounded by friends.

   
She stops and considers turning around and heading straight home, but he spots her first.

   
“Swan! Over here!” he calls, and she tries not to let her nerves show when all the unfamiliar faces turn toward her.

   
When she reaches the table, he motions to the empty stool beside him, and Duck howls with excitement, jumping on Davy.

   
Emma looks at Killian, who’s taking a sip of his beverage, cheeks tinted pink. “Swan! Meet my friends.”  
 

Emma looks at the group surrounding her, two men and a woman, and she laughs when her eyes land on a familiar face.

   
“Don’t I know you?” he asks in his cockney accent.

   
Emma cocks her head to the side, considering the man. “I came in to your work like two years ago… you kept calling me sheriff,” she says.

   
“Emma, this is Will Scarlet. I’d like to apologize in advance for him,” Killian says, and Will shoots his friend a glare, smiling at Emma.

   
“I do remember you, Sheriff,” he says, sending her a wink. “How could I forget a face like yours?” he asks.

   
She raises an eyebrow in disbelief at him, and he grins.

   
Killian rolls his eyes. “This is Robin,” he says, pointing to the man next to Will who is watching the exchange with amusement. “And beside him is his wife, Regina.”

   
Emma looks at the couple, and smiles at the way that Robin’s fingers trace circles into her back absent-mindedly.

   
Emma just smiles, feeling a little awkward. “Hi, nice to meet you all,” she says, and then motions to the bar behind them. “I’m just going to go grab a drink.”

   
“No, love, let me. What will you have?” Killian asks, standing up and inching toward the bar before she can object.

   
“Rum and diet, please,” she says, and something flickers in his eyes before he nods and turns away.

   
“So, you’re the infamous Emma, huh?” Will asks, and Emma shrugs. “Killian talks about you all the time.”

   
Robin groans. “Please, Emma, ignore our friend. He’s a complete tosser and we only keep him around for our own amusement.”

   
Emma laughs. “Everyone has that one friend, huh?” she asks, and Robin laughs loudly in response. Regina smiles, surprise crossing her face.

   
“Sad but true,” Robin agrees. “You have one, too, then?”

   
She thinks of Ruby, her neurotic, mess of a best friend. “Yep. Definitely,” she says.

   
Killian slides back into his seat, arm brushing hers as he places her drink on the table. She can see the goosebumps rise on her forearm, and Killian seems a little affected, too, his gaze lingering on her for far too long.

   
“Where’s Milah?” she asks, and he straightens up, clearing his throat.

   
“She’s stuck at work tonight,” he says, but she doesn’t miss the matching expression that all of his friends are wearing: disapproval.

   
“You’re never free in the evening, Swan,” he observes, his voice lighter than before. “Where’s your boy?”  
   
She frowns. “He goes to this dad’s every other weekend, but I let him go a day early this week so they could go to the Red Sox game tonight,” she says before taking a sip of her drink.

   
Robin sends her a knowing look. “Shared custody never does get easier, huh?” he says, and Emma finds a small smile forming on her face.

   
“It truly does not,” she agrees.  
 

Robin tells her about his son, Roland, and whips out his phone to show off pictures, which only prompts Emma to do the same. Killian watches it all with a content smile on his face, and she tries not to dissect the moment.  
 

Emma finds herself falling into easy conversation with them all, enjoying the snarky banter with Will, the kind words from Robin, and by the end of the night, even Regina seems to be opening up a bit more to Emma, telling her about her work on the city council.  
 

“Emma!?” she hears, and jumps, searching the bar for the face that matches that voice. She smiles when her eyes land on Graham, and craft beer in his hand as he approaches her.  
 

She smiles politely at Killian and his friends before she jumps off the stool and gives Graham a quick hug.  
 

“Hey stranger, tell me, please, what the day shift is like? I’ve nearly forgotten what the day looks like,” she jokes, and he winces, shaking his head.  
 

“You’d think that having David as your boss would score you some perks, huh?” he asks, and Emma shakes her head.  
 

“David? Playing favorites? Please, Humbert, he’s a man of honor and I’m offended you’d even imply such a thing.”  
 

Graham chuckles, and Emma swears that his eyes land on someone behind her for far too long. She assumes it’s Killian.  
 

“You’ll be back to days in a couple weeks, though. Aurora is coming back from maternity leave soon,” he says.  
 

She rolls her eyes. “Two weeks is too far away,” she mumbles.  
 

He only shakes his head. “What brings you here, Em? I’m here all the time and I’ve never seen you. Don’t you and Ruby like to frequent that god awful dive bar, what’s it called?” he looks up, racking his brain.  
 

Emma scoffs. “It’s called The Rabbit Hole and it’s our safe haven so watch your mouth,” she threatens. “I came here to meet my friend,” she says, turning around to point at Killian, who’s sitting in his seat tensely.  
 

Graham smiles warmly, though, and Killian seems to shake out of his weird mind state, standing up and shaking his hand.  
 

“Killian, this is Graham Humbert, my partner when I'm on day shift,” she says before introducing him to the rest of the table.  
   
Everyone exchanges kind words, and Graham says his goodbyes, heading back to his table where she spots a few familiar faces from the precinct.  
 

She sends a wave to the table, not in the mood to socialize with the people from work that she doesn’t really care for.  
 

When Emma settles back into her seat, Regina raises an eyebrow.

   
“When did you guys date?” she asks, and Killian practically chokes on the rum he’s drinking.

   
Emma shakes her head. “Ah, no, no, we never--” she stammers, shaking her head. “We didn’t date,” she finally says.

   
“Well, you’re aware he wants to, right? I mean, the guy was practically salivating at the mouth the whole time he was over here. It was honestly painful to watch.”

   
Emma grunts, feeling insanely uncomfortable. “Well, it’s not like that,” she says, shrugging.

   
Killian laughs, a little too loudly, and then sets his drink down. “Regina, let the lass drink in peace,” he scolds, and Regina shrugs, looking unapologetic.

   
“The Rabbit Hole, huh?” Will says, and Emma’s thankful for the new topic. “I love that place. I mean, it’s a dump, that’s for sure. But it’s my kind of place. These gits are always dragging me to hipster places like this,” he says, motioning to his surroundings, and both Killian and Robin voice their disagreement.  
 

Emma laughs. “Yeah. My best friend and I love that place too,” she says.

   
The night continues on without incident, and when they’re ready to leave, Emma feels a tightness in her chest. She doesn’t want to go.  
 

She nudges Duck, who has fallen asleep under the table, and smiles as she watches him stretch out peacefully.

   
She says her goodbyes to Killian’s friends, feeling oddly warm when they all sincerely tell her they can’t wait to do this again.

   
“You okay to drive, love?” Killian asks when they get outside. The night brought a slight chill in the air, but it feels good on her skin.

   
She nods, and he walks her to her car in silence. “Thanks for inviting me, Killian,” she says when they reach her bug.

   
He laughs, looking at her vehicle.

   
“Quite the vessel you captain there, Swan,” he says, his voice low, and she laughs.

   
“This is my baby,” she says defensively, and he smirks. His gaze is too dark, though, too intense. She opens her door, allowing Duck to climb into the passenger seat. “I’ll see you, Killian.”  
 

He doesn’t respond though, just keeps his eyes trained on her.  
 

“Tell Milah I said hi,” she says, and once again, at the mention of Milah he backs up, as if he realizes where he’s at, what he’s doing.  
 

“Goodnight, Swan,” he says before she gets into her car and drives away.  
 

\---///---

  
  


_I go back to day shift tomorrow. Wanna take one last morning walk?_

   
It’s only seconds before Killian sends her a text back.

   
**Meet you in fifteen.**

   
She finds him waiting for her in the parking lot, Davy at his side. He doesn’t notice her arrive, leaning against a tree and staring into the distance.

   
“Why are you thinking so hard, mate?” she asks, imitating his accent playfully. He looks at her, but his expression doesn’t change. “Okay, what’s wrong?” she asks as they start walking the familiar trail.

   
“Nothing, love, just a long day,” he says.

   
“Killian,” she says firmly. “It’s nine in the morning.”

   
He sighs. “I didn’t sleep last night,” he tells her, whistling when Davy gets distracted by a butterfly. Emma would normally laugh at the dog’s attention span, but she’s consumed by Killian’s distress.

   
She stops, placing a hand on Killian’s forearm. He stops, looking down at her hand, and then he meets her eyes.

   
He looks pained and exhausted.

   
“Hey, come on. What’s going on with you?” she asks.

   
He sighs, nodding, and continues their walk down the path. “It’s Milah,” he says.

   
Emma fights the urge to cringe, because the last thing she wants to talk about is his relationship.

   
After that night at The Jolly Roger, she came to terms with the fact that she clearly has feelings for Killian that are more than platonic. She also came to the conclusion that she has to force those feelings down, for the sake of their friendship. So she’s kept it casual, texting him a little less, bringing up Milah a little more, and it’s been working.

   
“Is she alright?” Emma asks carefully.

   
“She’s fine,” he bites out, groaning. “We were up all night fighting,” he says.

   
“Over what?” she asks, frowning.

   
He groans, shaking his head. “I don’t even know anymore. Nothing, at first. Everything, by this morning,” he says vaguely.

   
Emma sighs. “Those kind of fights are never fun,” she agrees, thinking back to heated arguments with Neal and how quickly they would escalate. “But you guys will work through it, ya know? You love her,” she says, and she hopes her words sound more convincing than they feel.  
 

He stumbles a bit when he takes his next step, but continues.  
 

“Yeah,” he says, sounding a little resigned. He sighs, then, shaking his head. “It’s just… we want different things, you know. I’m ready to settle down here, to start a life. She wants adventure.”  
 

She frowns, shocked at the confession. “Adventure?” she asks.

   
“Sometimes it feels like she thinks I’m supposed to always be the exciting younger man, like she’s always comparing me to her ex and wanting a shiny fun toy. But there comes a point where it feels like it’s time to build something strong, meant to last.”  
 

“Yeah,” she says quietly. “Killian. I know you guys are in love, and I’m happy for you. But don’t forget that what you want matters too. You guys need to find a fair compromise,” she says. He nods, looking around like he wants the conversation to end. She leaves him with her last thought, hoping it doesn’t reveal too much. “You have so much more to offer than fun times, Jones. She should know that.”  
 

She starts to tell him about how excited she is to switch to days and how she can’t wait to get Graham back as her partner. “I mean, listen, Sneezy is nice and all, but I literally have never gone through so much hand sanitizer in my life,” she says.  
 

He cringes. “That’s disgusting,” he says. “How long were you and Graham partners before your switch to nights, love?” he asks, his eyes trained on Davy.  
 

She shrugs, thinking back. “About two years,” she says. “We’ve been partners since he started at our precinct.”  
 

“He seems like a good man,” he says, and he doesn’t sound unkind, but he also doesn’t sound quite like himself.  
 

She brushes it off. “Anyways, it doesn’t matter. I’ll be on day shift for a week and then we’re headed to Cape Cod for the weekend,” she says, her voice raising with excitement. “It’s going to be the best. Henry’s been working on a road trip playlist for us all week.”  
  


Her words bring out the first genuine smile she’s seen from Killian all morning. He chuckles. “Did Ruby end up asking Mulan to join?”

   
“Of course not. She’s being the biggest coward,” Emma grumbles.  
 

“Okay, relax, lass. Matters of the heart are usually more complicated than they appear,” he says, and Emma rolls her eyes.

   
“Sometimes they’re not as difficult as we make them,” she says. “And besides, you don’t even know Ruby, you don’t get to take her side.”

   
Killian shakes his head. “That’s through no fault of my own. You’re the one that hides me from your friends like I’m something to be ashamed of.”  
 

It’s not the first time he’s mentioned it. It’s about the tenth time since she met his friends a few weeks ago. She always has an excuse. But the reality is that Ruby was right from the start. She doesn’t want her friends to meet Killian because he means too much to her, and they will see that.  
 

“Yeah, yeah,” she whines playfully, rolling her eyes. He frowns slightly, but Emma pretends not to notice before showing him pictures of the house they rented for the trip.

   
He doesn’t bring up her friends or Milah again for the rest of the morning.

   
Instead, he asks about Henry’s father.

   
Emma sighs deeply, trying to figure out where to start. “I met Neal my senior year of college,” she says, and Killian points to the bench, signaling for a little break. She nods, and they sit down, watching as Duck and Davy play in front of them.  
 

“I fell in love with him so fast,” Emma recalls. “I mean, he was my first love. And David and Mary Margaret hated him, told me he was bad news, but I was naive. I found out I was pregnant the day of graduation. I told him and he ran,” she says, shaking her head at the memory. Killian places his hand on her knee, squeezing tightly.

   
“Bad form,” he hisses, and Emma laughs without humor.

   
“Truly bad form,” she agrees. “But, you know, he grew up. He came back around when Henry was one. I made him work for it, telling him he needed to prove that he was here for the long run. And eventually, he did prove it. And as much as he gets on my nerves, he has been a wonderful father to Henry.”

   
Killian nods. “You’re a wonderful mother, too, Swan,” he says.

   
She smiles. “He’s the best kid in the world,” Emma says. “He makes it easy.”  
 

Killian looks at her with awe in his eyes, so she turns her head, staring down at her feet.  
 

“Hey, can I ask you a favor?” she asks, desperate to get to lighter topics. He nods “Can you watch Duck when I’m out of town? If not, it’s no worries, I just figured--”  
 

He cuts her off, laughing easily. “Relax, Swan, I’d love to hang out with Duck for the weekend.”  
 

She smiles gratefully, and they stand up and continue down the trail, keeping their conversation on superficial topics for the rest of the morning.

 

\---///---

 

“Rule number one of our road trip,” Ruby shouts as they gather around Emma’s bug. “I will not hear one more mention of Mulan. I am escaping my reality for three whole days, and I don’t want to get made fun of the entire time,” she says.

   
Henry laughs while Emma, David, and Mary Margaret collectively groan at her dramatics. David throws the last duffel bag into the bed of his truck.

   
“No one even  _wants_ to talk about Mulan anymore at this point. Your cowardice is honestly boring,” he says, and Emma’s jaw drops at the bold statement.

   
Ruby pouts, shoulders slumping.

   
“Yeah, what we really wanna do is ask about Killian,” Mary Margaret interjects, and Emma’s jaw drops even further.

   
Henry’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, and Ruby grins victoriously. “What the hell!?” Emma complains, and David’s face somehow looks both annoyed and disgusted.

   
“I promise, that’s not what we want to talk about,” David says.

   
“He’s watching your dog for the weekend, Ems! That’s insane. Since when do you trust anyone with Duck?” Mary Margaret questions.

   
“I think it’s safe to say that leaving him with a man who opened his own dog shelter makes him a pretty good dog sitter,” Emma reasons.

   
Mary Margaret lets out a hum of disbelief.

   
“Can we hit the road or what?” she asks just before her phone chimes with a new message. Emma reads the message with the best poker face she can manage.

   
**Hope your trip is fun, Swan. Sorry I’ve been so busy this week, but I can't wait to see you when you return.**

   
She sends back a quick thanks before climbing into her car, smiling when Henry climbs into the passenger seat, forcing Ruby to climb into the back.

   
Emma doesn’t think about Killian for the rest of the drive, too distracted by Ruby’s constant antics and Henry’s playlist.

 

\---///---

 

Emma wakes up on Saturday morning to a text from Killian. It’s a picture of Davy and Duck both sleeping in what she assumes is his bed.

   
Even though the dogs look adorable in the photo, her eyes are stuck on the king size bed, the black sheets, the grey comforter.  
 

 _I miss Duck already :(  
_ 

**He misses you. So does Davy.**

   
Emma wonders, not for the first time, if Davy is code for Killian. She doesn’t linger on the thought for too long, though.

   
The weekend away from Killian does her good. He sends her pictures of the dogs every so often, but other than that, they don’t communicate much. Emma starts to wonder if the fact that she needs a vacation from Killian is a bad sign. Perhaps forcing down her romantic feelings was doing more damage than she suspected.

   
She doesn’t want to lose Killian, but at the same time, she can’t just sit around and pine for a guy that’s taken. It’s a waste of time.

   
It’s also making her feel a little out of control.

   
On the last night in Cape Cod, Emma voices this to Mary Margaret over a glass of sangria. Ruby’s mumbling I-Told-You-So’s the entire time.

   
“I have advice,” Mary Margaret say, her words measured. “But it’s not advice you’re going to want to hear.”

   
Emma shrugs, gesturing for Mary Margaret to continue.

   
“You have to let it go,” she says. “Move on. You can’t torture yourself like this. He has to realize you have feelings for him, Em. You’re not exactly subtle. He’s leading you on.”

   
That is the last thing she expected from Mary Margaret. Ruby’s wearing a matching look of surprise on her face.  
 

“He’s not leading me on, Mary Margaret. He knows that I know about Milah. He’s just being a good friend. It’s not his fault that I like him more than that,” she says.  
 

Mary Margaret considers her words, nodding. “Yeah, okay. I’m sure he’s a great friend, Ems, but that doesn’t change the situation at all. Just, I’d put some distance between you guys. At least so you can sort out your feelings.”  
 

Emma agrees with her, actually.  
 

She does need to move on.

 

\---///---

 

When they get home on Sunday, it’s only noon but she and Henry collapse on the couch in their family room, exhausted. She can feel her son staring at her, so she turns. “What is it, kid?” she asks.  
 

“Are you okay, mom?” he asks, his voice small and concerned. She jumps up a little, reaching over to pull Henry closer to her, smiling softly when he rests his head on her shoulder.  
 

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asks.  
 

He shrugs slightly. “You just seem… sad,” he tells her.  
 

She frowns, her heart aching at his words. “No, kid, I’m okay. I’ve got you in my life, how can I be anything but happy?”  
 

He laughs, and she presses a kiss to the top of his head before he gets up to take a shower.  
 

She stares at her phone for what feels like forever before typing out a message to Killian.  
 

 _I’m home.  
_ 

 **Fantastic, love! Would you like to meet at the park to pick up your dog? I’m heading to work around two to help train the new volunteers.  
** 

Emma sighs, considering her options.  
 

 _Henry and I are spending the day together, actually. I can come pick him up from your place now, though, if you’re home.  
_ 

It takes him a bit longer to send a response, and when it comes, her heart thuds against her chest violently.  
  


**Of course. See you soon.  
** 

When Henry gets out of the shower, she asks if he wants to come with her to pick Duck up. He agrees, and when they get to Killian’s, her son seems to read the discomfort on her face.  
 

Nine-year-old and still the smartest person she’s ever met.  
 

“Do you want me to go get him?” Henry asks.  
 

Emma chuckles, shaking her head. “No, let’s go,” she says, opening her car door. When they reach his apartment, she knocks lightly, realizing she’s never been to his place. She dropped Duck off to him at his place of work on Friday morning.  
 

He swings the door open, wearing a large smile.  
 

“Swan! Henry! How was the trip?” he asks, and Emma notices that he looks drained beyond belief. He’s still gorgeous, but his eyes look exhausted.  
  


She wonders if asking him to watch Duck was too much.  
 

“Really fun! Mom poured a margarita all over Ruby when she wouldn’t stop being dramatic and it was awesome!” Henry tells Killian. Killian’s eyes shoot to Emma, and she looks down at her son, rolling her eyes.  
 

“Yeah, we also went sailing and hung out at the beach. Why don’t you tell him about the normal things,” Emma suggests, laughing.  
 

Henry shrugs innocently. “That was the best part, though,” he reasons.  
 

Emma just rubs her hand over her face, and Killian’s chuckling with amusement.  
 

Henry’s face lights up when Duck runs out into the hallway, jumping excitedly all over his family. Emma laughs, leaning down and petting Duck lovingly. She stands up and sees Killian watching them with something close to  _yearning_ in his expression. She wonders if her mind sees things that aren’t there.  
 

This is why she needs distance.  
 

He hands her Duck’s leash, smiling. “Have a good day with your boy, Swan,” he says softly.  
 

She nods, smiling tightly. “I appreciate you taking him for the weekend. Hopefully it didn’t put you or Milah out,” she says.

   
He opens his mouth like he has something to say but he just shrugs. “It’s not a problem.”

   
With that, she sends him a small wave and rushes back down to her car, ready for a day out with her son.

 

\---///---

 

She makes excuses for weeks when he tries to make plans with her. She feels guilty every time, but the space is helping her gain some much need perspective.

   
When she gets a text from Graham on Friday night asking her to meet him at The Jolly Roger, she says yes. Because, Mary Margaret’s right, Emma needs to move forward. And it’s not like it’s a date. He meets their coworkers at bars all the time.

   
When she arrives, he’s sitting alone at the bar, nursing a beer. Emma grins, slipping into the empty seat beside him.

   
They spend the evening chatting, joking around, and it’s easy. He’s one of her closest friends, so of course a night out with him is fun.

   
“Sheriff,” she hears, and turns to see Will and Robin sitting a few seats down from them.

   
She jumps, searching the room for Killian, but he’s nowhere to be found.

   
“Hey, guys. What’s up? Is Killian here, too?” she asks before she can help herself.

   
Scarlet smirks knowingly, but Robin smiles kindly at her. “No, he’s at home dealing with the Milah stuff.”

Emma raises an eyebrow, frowning. She didn’t realize they were still having issues. She exchanges pleasantries with them, but she can’t help the guilt that builds up in her stomach while they talk.

   
Killian’s going through serious stuff in his home life and she’s avoided every effort of his to hang out. He probably needed a friend. When she turns back to Graham, she finds her heart not quite in it anymore, and when she finishes her drink, she makes an excuse about being too tired to stay out. He nods, walking her out to her car and telling her he’ll see her at work next week.

   
When she gets home, she lays in bed for an hour before finally grabbing her phone from her nightstand and shooting a text to Killian without thinking.

   
_Is everything okay?_

   
His response comes faster than she expects.

   
**I should be asking you that. You’ve been avoiding me, Swan.**

   
_I have not._

   
**I’m actually quite perceptive, love. You’ve been avoiding me.**

   
She sighs, sitting up in bed. She types and erases, over and over.

   
_We’re all meeting at The Rabbit Hole tomorrow night around eight for Ruby’s birthday. You should come. Bring Milah, Will, Robin, and Regina if you want._

   
**I’ll be there.**

   
With that, Emma falls asleep, hoping that she doesn’t have a breakdown when she sees him the following day.

 

\---///---

 

Emma takes a big sip from her rum and diet when the clock strikes nine. She looks at Ruby, who is already well on her way to  **drunk**  .

   
Killian had sent her a text to let her know he’d be late, but that he would be there.

   
“What?” Ruby finally asks after slamming down a shot of tequila.

   
“I invited Killian,” Emma says quietly.

   
Ruby grins widely. “Oh my god. Best birthday gift I could have ever asked for!” she practically screams. Emma groans.

   
“Please don’t be weird, Rubes,” she begs.

   
Completely ignoring her, she turns and screams to Mary Margaret, who is on the other side of the bar talking to David and Belle.

   
“Emma invited Killian!” she shouts.

   
Mary Margaret raises an eyebrow in response, and David wears the same pained expression he always does whenever Emma’s love life comes up.

   
“Would you chill?” Emma scolds, shaking her head. “Let’s do a shot, though,” Emma concedes, her nerves getting the best of her, and Ruby just giggles, turning to Mulan to order two tequila shots. Emma watches the way Mulan’s eyes linger on Ruby and she smirks to herself.

   
Emma’s eyes find Killian’s the moment she brings the shot to her lips. He grins mischievously as he takes in the scene before him, and she takes the shot quickly, wincing at the burn in her throat.

   
She looks to see that he brought Will and that’s all. No Milah.

   
Emma can’t help but feel a little relieved, motioning for him to come closer.

   
“Hi guys,” she says softly when they reach her. Ruby’s burning a hole into the side of Emma’s face, so she rolls her eyes and motions to her best friend.

   
“This is Ruby. It’s her thirtieth birthday so naturally she’s drunk by nine,” Emma explains, ignoring the scowl she receives in response. “Ruby, this is Killian and his friend Will Scarlet,” she says.

   
Ruby stares Killian down, inspecting him from head to toe, and Emma watches as he shrinks slightly under her stare.

   
“So,  _this_ is the Killian I’ve heard so much about,” she says, and she’s laying it on thick. Killian smirks slightly in response, and Emma rolls her eyes. “  _Not Ugly_ my ass, Emma,” she scoffs.

   
“This is the Will Scarlet of my friend group,” Emma explains quickly, tripping over her words slightly, and Killian barks out a laugh, while Will only shrugs.

   
“Pleasure to meet you, love,” Will says, winking at Ruby, who smiles back at him.

   
Emma grabs Killian’s arm, brushing past Ruby and leading him to the bar. “Drink?” she asks, and he laughs, taking her in. His eyes study her face, and for once, she keeps her eyes trained on his.

   
"Where’ve ya been, Swan?” he asks, softly. His voice sounds a little hurt, and she sighs.

   
“I’ve just been sorting some things out. I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” she says vaguely. He nods slowly, considering her.

   
He looks over at Mulan, who’s pouring shots for Will and Ruby. “Is that the notorious Mulan?” he asks quietly.

   
“Yup,” Emma says, popping the  _p_. He chuckles, smiling kindly at Mulan when she reaches them, and he orders two rum and diets.

   
He hands her the new drink. “M’lady,” he says.

   
“Where’s Milah?” she asks.

   
He presses his lips together into a tight line, and she frowns at his change in demeanor.

   
“Killian, are you guys okay?” she asks softly.

   
He shakes his head after a moment. “We broke up,” he says.

   
She doesn’t feel the relief she imagined she’d feel. She feels guilty. And worried.

   
“When?” she asks.

   
He sighs. “When you were in Cape Cod.”

   
Emma gasps. “That was two weeks ago,” she says. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

   
He levels her with a knowing look, and she cringes. It’s because she’s been avoiding him. How the hell could he tell her when she shut down every request to hang out since she got home from Cape Cod.

   
“Fuck, Killian, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

   
She thinks back to the day she came to pick up Duck. He asked to see her, and when she saw him at his apartment, he looked so different, so tired. She should have known something was going on.

   
“Yeah, love, I’m alright. It was for the best. She moved out that weekend, actually. We just weren’t right for each other,” he explains.

   
She sighs, placing her hand on the bar over his. “I should have been there for you. I’m sorry,” she says.

   
He shrugs. “Don’t worry about it, Swan,” he says, but his voice is distant. Then a devilish grin takes over his face. “What did Ruby mean when she said  _not ugly_?” he asks.

   
Emma grimaces, but figures he deserves a little pick me up. “When I first told Ruby about you, she asked if you were cute. I said you weren’t ugly,” she explains, and she can feel blood rushing to her cheeks at the memory.

   
He smirks. “You didn’t feel the need to mention that I’m actually devilishly handsome?” he asks, doing that absurd thing with his eyebrows that she hates.

   
And by hates, she means absolutely loves.

   
“And so modest,” Emma adds, but his smirk only grows deeper.

   
When Graham walks in with some people from the precinct, Killian stands up a bit straighter, eyeing Emma carefully. She simply sends Graham a little wave before returning her attention to Killian.

   
He nods to Graham. “Have you decided to take the leap with Humbert?” he asks, his voice tight.

   
Emma shakes her head. “What? No. Why would you think that?” she asks.

   
He smiles knowingly at her. “Will mentioned that he saw you out with him last night,” he says.

   
She raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. He’s my partner. We were just grabbing drinks as friends,” she explains.

   
He looks ready to say something else but gets interrupted by Mary Margaret and David.

   
“Em, are you going to introduce us to your friend?” Mary Margaret asks, and Emma nods, feeling her breathing even out when they break up the intense moment.

   
“Killian, this is Mary Margaret and David, my life savers and kindest people on Earth,” she says, and David laughs while Mary Margaret beams at Emma.

   
“I’ve heard a lot about you guys,” Killian says kindly, shaking their hands.

   
David stands up straight, crossing his arms over his chest, as he eyes Killian closely. Emma groans, shooting David a look while Mary Margaret only shakes her head good-naturedly.

   
“You’ve been a wonderful friend to Emma. I’m glad she has met you,” Mary Margaret says in an attempt to break the tension.

   
“She’s been the wonderful friend in this scenario, believe me,” Killian says, sincerity shining through every one of his words.

   
Mary Margaret wears a knowing look on her face that puts Emma on edge, so she turns to Ruby and starts talking to her and Will while Killian continues a conversation with Mary Margaret and David.

   
The night goes by easily enough, Emma doing one too many shots, officially buzzed by midnight. Killian’s standing in the corner with Will and Belle, laughing loudly at something Will is saying, and Emma is sitting at the bar next to Mary Margaret.

   
“Em,” Mary Margaret says quietly. “I take it back. He’s in love with you.”

   
Emma chokes violently on her drink, coughing roughly. “What!?” Emma almost sreams.

   
“Talking to him… it’s obvious,” she says, shrugging easily as she examines Emma’s face.

   
“I think that’s a bit extreme,” Emma says, setting her drink down once she’s recovered from her cough attack.

   
“Maybe,” Mary Margaret says, but when Emma turns back to glance at Killian, he’s already staring at her, eyes vulnerable, and Emma turns back around quickly. “Maybe not, though.”

   
As if he knows what’s going on, Killian leaves Belle and Will alone, sliding into the seat next to Emma without a word.

   
Mary Margaret excuses herself, and then it’s just the two of them.

   
Emma props her elbow up on the bar, resting her head in her hand as she stares at him. “So, you’ve finally met my friends. What do you think?” Emma asks.

   
He mimics her actions, resting his own head in his hand.

   
She always thought that Killian was so unguarded, so soft, her complete opposite. But if she thought he wore an open expression before, this is something completely different. It’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

   
“They’re as lovely as you said they were,” he says. “I like seeing you around them, in your natural habitat,” he tells her. She raises her eyes eyebrows in confusion, and he chuckles. “You’re beautiful,” he says softly.

   
She feels her body go rigid at the words.

   
Because, no, she’s not going to do this when he broke up with his girlfriend of several years less than a month ago.

   
She cares about him too much for that.

   
“Sorry, love,” he says, obviously realizing the way his words impacted her.

   
She shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. I just…”

   
He nods. “It’s okay,” he cuts her off. “You don’t have to explain yourself.”

   
She sighs, and she wants to explain herself, but perhaps under better circumstances, when she hasn’t been drinking for several hours.

   
“Want to join us at breakfast tomorrow?” she asks. “We always do breakfast at Granny’s on Sundays and I have a feeling we will all be needing some hangover food,” she adds, and he chuckles, affection all over his face.

   
“Of course love. Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

   
Emma smiles, and it’s only a half hour later that she calls a cab and heads home.

 

\---///---

 

They fall into a pattern. They hang out a bit more than they did before, and they text everyday. He joins her friends at breakfast and on the weekends that Henry’s at Neal’s, she joins Killian and his friends for happy hour.

   
It’s not much different than before, except that she doesn’t feel guilty when her eyes catch on his for a moment too long anymore, and it happens a bit more than before.

   
Ruby tells her that they’re dating without the label, but Emma ignores the claim, explaining that they’ve never kissed and she has yet to tell him her feelings. And she doesn’t plan to.

   
It’s only been a month since Milah moved out. He’s still adjusting.

   
Will makes a comment at happy hour one night that cuts her, though.

   
After several shots of whiskey, Will turns to Emma, who isn’t doing much better than him. Killian and Robin are at the bar ordering another round, so he leans over the table and grunts.

   
“When will you put the lad out of his misery and kiss him or something?” he asks, words slurring together slightly.

   
She scoffs. “What?”

   
“Please. Milah treated Killian like the solution to her midlife crisis for years and it never seemed to matter to him until he met you. You must realize the guy is in love with you?”

   
She opens her mouth, shuts it, opens it again, struggling to find a response.

   
All she can manage is another “What!?”

   
He rolls his eyes. “Emma,” he says, his tone growing more sincere.

   
She pouts. “I liked him first. It’s not fair. Why do I have to make the move?”

   
At this, he looks confused, but before she can elaborate her drunk line of thought, Killian and Robin return with drinks for the table.

   
An hour later, Emma’s a bit too drunk to drive home, so Killian laughs, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as he leads her to his car.

   
The drive home is quiet, but comfortable.

   
Well, at least, he seems comfortable.

   
Emma, on the other hand, is on the verge of a mental breakdown as she replays her conversation with Scarlet in her head over and over.

   
“Are you happy now that you and Milah aren’t together?” she asks.

   
He clears his throat. “Uh, I’m happier than I was, yes.”

   
She nods, leaning back in her seat, trying to make sense of her jumbled thoughts.

   
“What made you realize you weren’t happy with her?” she pushes.

   
He shrugs, looking at her from the corner of his eyes. “I just… did, I guess,” he says.

   
She groans, shaking her head, clearly unhappy with his response.

   
He grunts. “Is there a specific answer you’re looking for, Emma?” he asks, confusion etched into his face when he turns to glance at her quickly.

   
She sighs. “No, I guess not,” she says. She doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive, and for some reason, she’s full of an anger that she can’t quite decipher.

   
When they get to his place, she realizes she has never been inside his apartment before, and her whole body feels warm when she enters. It’s large, open, and spotless.

   
“Neat freak,” she comments, taking it in.

   
He laughs. “You can have the bed, love. I’ll take the couch.”

   
She shakes her head. “No, that’s dumb. I’ll take the couch.”

  
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not taking no for an answer on this one, love. Come on,” he says, leading her through his apartment to his bedroom.

   
She stares at his bed, just as she remembers from the photo of their dogs, and stupidly says, “big.”

   
Her voice is small and enamored and a little breathless.

   
There’s a hitch in Killian's responding laugh, and she knows he’s thinking the same thing she is; the bed is big enough for the both of them.  
 

He hands her a soft white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, pointing her to his bathroom before he exits the room.  
 

Emma takes her time changing into his clothes, reveling in the familiar smell of  _Killian_ when she puts them on. She stares at herself in the mirror and grabs his face cleanser, washing the makeup off her skin.

   
When she exits his bathroom, he’s digging through his closet. She watches him, taking in the sight of Killian in a black t-shirt and black mesh shorts.

   
“Whatcha doing?” she asks, and he jumps in surprise.

   
He laughs, and hands her a toothbrush that’s still in it’s packaging. “I was looking for this,” he says. She takes it from him gingerly, fully aware of the way he’s studying her in his clothing.

   
She smiles easily, enjoying the way his eyes linger on her. Heat spreads through her entire body, and, god, it’s so dumb. She’s in pajamas holding an orange toothbrush, and all she wants to do is kiss Killian Jones.

   
Instead, she goes back to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

   
When she comes back, his bedroom door is closed and there’s a glass of water and some advil on the nightstand.

   
She sighs, climbing into his bed. She allows herself to inhale his scent as she buries her head into his pillows.

   
Sleep doesn’t come easy, though, because all she can think about is Killian on the other side of the door.

   
She finally passes out, and it feels like only an hour later that she wakes up to the sound of Killian’s voice on the other side of the wall. It’s muffled, but she can make out bits and pieces.  
 

She stands up, heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She runs her fingers through her hair, feeling strangely self conscious as she stares at her sleepy face in the mirror. When she looks at her watch, she realizes it’s only eight. She pads out into his bedroom, opening the door quietly and entering his living room.

   
He smiles at her from his seat at his kitchen table, coffee cup in front of him, while he holds his phone to his ear. She sits down on the couch, still warm from his body, and pulls the blanket he was using over her body as she sprawls out sleepily.

   
He gets up from his seat and moves around in the kitchen a bit before approaching her with a cup of coffee. She smiles, taking it from him gratefully. When she takes a sip, she’s surprised to find he knows exactly how she takes her coffee. One sugar and a splash of cream.

   
“Yeah, I understand, brother. Tell Elsa I’ll make a trip out soon,” he says. Whatever his brother says in response elicits a flustered laugh from Killian, and she raises an eyebrow in curiosity. She’s never known Killian to get flustered.

   
He bites out his goodbye, annoyance in his tone, before hanging up the phone.

   
Emma eyes him with open interest, and Killian takes notice quickly, sitting down at the opposite end of the couch, moving her legs so that they rest in his lap.

   
He rests his hand on top of her shins. “You feeling alright, Swan?” he asks.

   
She nods. “Not hungover at all. It’s a miracle,” she says. “Thanks for letting me crash here.”

   
He holds a hand up to stop her words. “No thanks necessary, Swan.”

   
She thinks back to the night before, to Will’s words, to her resulting anger. He’s watching her carefully, and she has a feeling he’s thinking back to her words in the car.

   
“Remember when I was avoiding you? After my road trip?”

   
Her words evoke a wounded expression from him, and it takes everything in her not to climb into his lap so that she can physically smooth out his features with her fingers.

   
“Yes, I recall that happening,” he says, his voice coarse.

   
She sets her coffee mug down on the glass table in front of her, clasping her fingers together nervously.  
 

“I had to distance myself from you because I was coming to terms with the fact that I was in love with you,” she says, and she’s proud of herself for getting the words out, even if they’re shaky and unsure.  
 

He cranes his neck to observe her, but she continues on.  
 

“And it was really hard for me. I mean, I finally admitted my feelings for you were more than platonic the moment I walked into The Jolly Roger that first night and met your friends. And I struggled, Killian. I mean, I don’t do that. I don’t really fall for people. And it happened with you so naturally. And you were with Milah.”  
 

She hears his sharp intake of breath, and he’s studying her so intensely that she’s sure he can see straight through her.  
 

Her heart pounds against her ribcage.

   
“Anyways. It hurt too much. So I had to take a step back, and put myself first, I guess.”

   
He’s frowning, guilt all over his face, and that wasn’t her intention.

   
“Emma,” he breathes.

   
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty,” she explains. “It wasn’t your fault.”

   
“You said you  _were_ in love with me,” he says.

   
It’s not what she expects.

   
She laughs. “I’m in love with you, Killian,” she confirms. “I’ve tried not to be, but the feelings don’t seem to be going anywhere.”

   
“Emma,” he repeats, and she’s surprised by how brave she feels. She doesn’t mind telling him how she feels, and it’s a completely new experience, just like everything else when it comes to her relationship with Killian Jones.

   
“Yeah?” she asks.

   
He breaks into a smile, laughing lightly. She pulls her legs from his lap, scooting closer to him, kneeling into the cushion beside him, as she examines his face.

   
“I’ve been trying to be straightforward with you for the last few weeks, I just, I didn’t have the courage,” he admits.

   
She sits back on her heels, allowing him to collect his thoughts.

   
He smiles sadly at her. “I was miserable for years, Emma. I just, I didn’t even realize it. Not until I met  _you,_ ” he says. His voice is heavy with emotion, and Emma’s heart twinges with the realization that Killian has been hurting for so long.

   
“Then one day, I met a beautiful woman who made fun of my dog’s name and glared at me when she caught me checking her out,” he says, his voice shaking with quiet laughter. She grins effortlessly, recalling their first meeting in the park.

   
“Emma, it’s like I was sleepwalking through my life, you know. Just going through the motions. You woke me up. And you were so perfect, that I was sure you could never feel for me the way that I felt for you. So, I pushed it down. Until it came to be too much. I never felt a fraction of what I feel for you when I was with Milah. And you were on your trip, and it became so clear.”

   
She smiles, and she can feel the tears in her eyes. “And then I started to ignore you,” Emma says.

   
He nods. “And then Will told me you were out with Graham,” he adds.  
 

She groans. “So stupid,” she grumbles. “I should have just told you. But… I didn’t want to rush you after getting out of a relationship.”  
 

He nods. “Emma, listen,” he says. His hand finds her face, and now she  _does_ climb into his lap, much to Killian’s surprise. She settles her legs on either side of him, and she leans forward, pressing her lips to his like she’s been wanting to for months.  
 

Her fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck and he smiles against her lips, and it feels right and warm and like sweet relief.  
 

She’s laughing when she pulls away. “I love you,” she says, her voice watery.  
 

“I love you, Swan,” he says, his eyes meeting hers with a new intensity.  
 

It feels so right, so natural, the way his hands trace up and down her body, the way he bites at her lips, the way she moans into his mouth. It’s like they’ve been doing this for ages.  
 

She leans her forehead against his, sighing contently.  
 

“You can thank Will Scarlet for giving me the courage to say something,” she says.  
 

At this, he scoffs, pulling back slightly to study her face.  
 

“I knew you guys had to have had an intense conversation last night while Robin and I were at the bar. What did that idiot say?” he asks, annoyance in his voice.  
 

She laughs. “He told me to kiss you already,” she summarizes, and Killian grunts. Emma shrugs. “He wasn’t wrong.”  
 

“A rare occurrence,” Killian concedes, then presses a kiss to her cheek. “What do you want to do today?”  
 

She grins. “Wanna go pick up Duck and take the dogs for a walk at our park?” she asks.  
 

He laughs, his face brighter than the sun. “Our park, huh?”  
 

She grins. “I only started going there consistently in hopes of running into you.”  
 

He laughs loudly, shaking his head. “I started going their every morning after the first time I met you,” he admits.  
 

She shrugs. “So, it’s our park,” she decides, and she takes the kiss he pulls her into as agreement.  
 

One year later to the date, Killian kneels down at the rock where he first met Emma, holding a rock of his own, and asks her to marry him. Duck jumps on top of them when she tackles him to the ground with excited kisses.  
 

Ruby uses their wedding as an excuse to ask Mulan on a date. Finally. 


End file.
